I’ve been thinking a lot recently about a friend of mine from high school who we called Flounder. He and I became friends through the cross country team, which he joined his freshman year. I was a sophomore at the time, and it was apparent that Flounder had plenty of potential, both as a runner and a student.

As his freshman season progressed, he had a few good races and a few disastrous ones. At practice, he didn’t misbehave, but he wasn’t focused and didn’t seem to be invested in the team’s nor his own performance. He got decent grades, but everybody knew he could do better. Fast forward three and a half years and Flounder would go on to graduate as a captain of the cross-country team (and the 2^nd best runner his senior year), a member of the National Honors Society, and was heading off to a highly competitive college. He now works as Vice President of a successful Private Equity company.

The question that’s been on my mind recently is: what happened to Flounder in high school? Why did he go from average to great? And what can I (we) learn from his story? There are a couple of things that come to mind:

1. Time: maybe it’s obvious, but time is one of the most transformative forces there is. I’m sure there was some natural maturing and perspective that Flounder gained as he went from a 14-year-old freshman to an 18-year-old senior. As life goes on, everybody changes in some way or another. Maybe in his case, it was just a matter of time before he realized his potential and took more initiative.
2. The value of friendship: “Flounder” probably wasn’t the nicest nickname to give him, but it was done (mostly) in jest, and never disparagingly. The older guys on the team always encouraged him and made him aware that we knew how much potential he had, and that it was up to him to unleash it. I think that gentle push from friends probably nudged him more successfully than any teacher, parent, or authority figure could have.
3. The accountability of a team: It’s one thing to let yourself down, it’s ten times worse to let down your teammates. How many times you made plans for yourself lying in bed for early the next morning, only to hit the snooze button when the alarm goes off? I’m notorious for doing this when it comes to working out in the morning (no really, I’m going for a run tomorrow) BUT if I make plans to meet up with somebody for a workout, I never bail. The same is true whether it’s athletics/fitness, academics, work, or anything else. You will hold yourself to a higher standard if you’re not the only one depending on you.
4. The importance of having goals: My senior year (Flounder’s junior year) the cross country team set some very explicit and high-reaching goals as a team. We made sure he knew that we couldn’t accomplish them without him stepping up, and sure enough, he did. Without those very concrete and candidly daunting goals, most of the team would have been happier with a less successful season. It was only once we set the bar higher that we became so focused on achieving it.

Ultimately, I’m sure it was several different things that led to Flounder’s success in high school and beyond. More than anything else, the biggest lesson for me was to believe in other people and their ability to change. It’s easy to write others off based on who they are today, but you never know with time and the right influences, what somebody may become!